The Emotional Labor of Project Management (Let’s Talk About It)
When you read the job description for a Digital Project Manager, you’ll see a lot of responsibilities that make sense. Agencies need someone to manage budgets, timelines, and resources. You’ll be asked to establish processes, assign tasks, manage teams, assure quality work, and lead weekly status meetings. No problem, we’ve got this.
There is a massively important skill that is not often mentioned in a job description (likely because it’s hard to articulate): emotional labor. Sometimes this is hinted at in job descriptions with terms like “strong communication skills”, but this is so much deeper than being able to write a good email. What do you do when a team member is spiraling? Or when you’re picking up on client dissatisfaction in a meeting even though they they’ve said nothing out loud?
This labor is invisible, expected, and rarely compensated or acknowledged, but it’s just as important as being able to document a process. It’s also why AI can’t manage a project (yet).
Defining Emotional Labor
It is genuinely hard to articulate emotional labor which is why you won’t often see it in a job description. So what is it really? Here’s what it actually includes:
Translating tone
Translating wants, needs and hopes into actionable tasks
De-escalating panic or conflict
Managing client stress
Managing team stress
Delivering difficult messages in a way that keeps the recipient somewhat happy
Anticipating the needs and moods of everyone you work with and for
Occasionally taking blame for something that wasn’t your decision
Why Agencies Underestimate Emotional Labor
I’ll use an analogy here that I used to use all of the time when I worked in television production: no one notices the sound of a movie or tv show unless it’s bad. The same goes for emotional labor: it can invisible unless it fails.
PMs tend to hide turbulence to protect their teams, and leadership can sometimes mistake calmness for ease. You may not be bringing up all of these problems in 1:1 meetings with your managers because you’ve already solved them behind the scenes. Also, emotional labor doesn’t always translate into billable hours so it can be hard to track. No one is analyzing Harvest data and thinking “wow, the PM spent 12 hours of this project talking the designer out of making a bold choice that the client will despise”.
How Emotional Labor Shows Up for PMs
You might start your day by looking at the tasks you need to complete and consider the priority. You might be prepared for your 3 client meetings with status reports and agendas. Good for you. We both know someone or something is going to throw a wrench into your perfectly planned day.
Suddenly you’re translating the tone of a message in Slack and noticing that one of your clients is stressed about a deliverable you weren’t planning on working on today. Or a team member might be panicking about a workshop that isn’t happening for two more weeks.
When you’re anticipating the needs and moods of your team members and clients, that’s emotional labor. You’re writing tough emails, taking the heat for a decision you didn’t make, and managing to keep client-anxiety away from your team while you keep team-anxiety away from your client.
At points in your day you may even be doing some psychic forecasting, noting that something may become a fire if you don’t fix it today. Or you may have a tough client who is crushing the morale of a junior team member that you feel obligated to protect.
You do all of this with a smile. You do all of this while keeping calm. You do all of this when you’re sick, behind, overwhelmed, and back channelling team members during a Zoom call while fielding new projects and new scopes in your inbox.
The Hidden Cost
No one can keep up emotional vigilance 100% of the time. We’re human. You may sometimes feel burned out from carrying all of these invisible weights. You may feel undervalued because the hardest work you’re doing isn’t seen by anyone else. When emotional labor strains your capacity (because shockingly we didn’t account for it in team capacity planning) you may feel like you’re slipping. At worst, you may even lose trust when you are overwhelmed.
It’s happened to me and I’m sure it will happen again, but being able to recognize the weight of the work itself, rather than blaming yourself, is so important.
What Leaders Can Do to Fix This
In general a lot of emotional labor involves navigating through layers of people and work. Anything leadership can do to remove barriers will help.
Give PMs direct client access.
Include PMs early in scoping and strategy.
Normalize, and actively protect, PMs who push back and set boundaries (with teams and with clients).
Reduce approval bottlenecks, both internally and on the client side.
Naming the Truth
Projects fail when emotional labor is ignored and they thrive when it is honored. Recognizing that the overwhelm you may be feeling on a project is actually a result of this emotional labor can be the difference between self-doubt and self-preservation.
I’ve found that while emotional labor will always be a part of complex projects and large teams, there are a few things that can mitigate it:
Try not to absorb energy that isn’t yours
Document conversations so emotions don’t distort facts
Learn to say no
Ask questions, even if they feel silly, because clarity is always better than making an assumption.
Finally, make time to talk with other PMs outside of regular meetings. Schedule virtual coffee with a peer and don’t be afraid to ask how they handle these situations too. We can support one another in this work.
